Look, I don't know what possessed me... I've joined internet dating sites before and it ended badly, so why did I think it was a good idea?
I guess I thought maybe since I'm in London and new to the city it'd be a good way to meet people. Sure, if you want those people to be overweight IT consultants who can barely spell. I mean, I'm young, I'm attractive, educated, funny - surely there are some nice guys out there who aren't a little bit socially retarded, mind-bogglingly unattractive or lacking one or both testicles.
So, in the interests of putting it out into the universe, and maybe assisting those who are thinking of signing up, here are a few tips for the gentlemen out there in cyber-dating-land.
1. LEARN TO SPELL. Seriously. Punctuation and grammar don't hurt either.
2. Smile in your pic. You may think you look sexy, but you probably look like you've injected Botox with a horse syringe. Especially if ALL your pics are like that.
3. If you message someone and they don't reply, it's probably because they're not interested. Messaging again won't help. Nor will continual pokes. Get the hint.
4. Don't lie about your age. When your profile says 28 but your pic looks 45, there's something wrong.
5. Posting pics of your car/boat/guitar isn't going to win you points, it's going to make you look like a douche.
6. I don't want to read an essay in the 'about me' section. That being said, putting 'I don't know what to write in these things, so yeah - message me' isn't terribly informative. It also makes you sound incredibly boring.
7. Please don't message me offering sex. There are other places I can go for that.
Now then. Hopefully someone out there will get the memo and send me some vaguely enticing messages.
I may be waiting a while...
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